Doctor Humor

Doctor:  I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill. Is there any one you would like to see?
Patient: Yes! “Another doctor”.

Doctor: What has happened to you?
Patient: I am going to die in 20 minutes.
Doctor: Wait for half an hour! I am coming.

“Doctor to furniture salesman: Why you bought six backless chairs?
Salesman: Because you needed a stool sample. ”

Doctor: I have some good news for you, Mrs. Roy.
Pardon me, she interrupted, but its Miss.
Doctor: I have some bad news for you, Miss Roy.

Seeking appointment with doctor a man said: 2 weeks? I could be dead by then!
Doctor: No problem! If your wife let us know, we will cancel the appointment.

Doctor: Mr. John, you look exhausted.
John: I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have
to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it.

Doctor: Liquor is a slow poison for you.
Patient: It’ is perfectly all-right.  I am not in a hurry.

“Dentist: For God’s sake, stop making such noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet.
Patient : Yes, I know. But you are standing on my foot.” 

“Doctor: You have throat problem? Have you ever gargled with salt water?
Patient: Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming. ”

“A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor.
Doctor: Do not worry! It is due to old age.
Patient: The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not
pain?”

Doctor:  Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness. It is an indication of old age.
Husband: Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?

Patient: I think I am suffering form loss of memory.
Doctor:  Please pay my fees in advance.

Patient: Doctor, can I ask you a personal question, if you do not mind.
Doctor: Yes you can.
Patient: Why do you charge fees much lower than other doctors?
Doctor:  Because I am not a M.B.B.S. I am only a B.Sc.

Doctor: What is the matter about your husband?
Woman:  He worries a lot about money.
Doctor: I think I can relieve him of that.

Patient: I am taking rest cure.
Doctor: What do you do?
Patient: I sit every day for four hours in your waiting room.

Doctor: Why are you nervous?
Patient: Because I am going to have an operation for the first time.
Doctor:  Hey! But I am not nervous though this is my first operation.

Doctor:  You must take five tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal.
Patient: Doctor, we have only 3 spoons at home.

“Doctor: What is wrong with you?
Patient: I am losing my memory. Please give me some medicine.
Doctor: Here, Take this.
Patient: Why are you giving me this medicines? I am perfectly all right.”